Principal's Message Week 5 Term Two

Manners Maketh Man

This phrase comes from a 14th century proverb and is allegedly attributed to a William Wykeham from Oxford. For many of us, it may be better remembered from the 2015 movie The Kingsman featuring Colin Firth, in the famous pub fight scene. My disclaimer here is that I am not endorsing physical violence for our boys! The phrase for me suggests that, irrespective of our social status or positional power, our age or our wealth, having good manners cost nothing.

When my children were little, we had family sayings that we insisted our children understand. One of them was “nice people are nice to know,” and another pearler was “manners cost nothing”. We attempted (and I am biased, but I think somewhat successfully!) to instil in our children that being polite and courteous is not only the right thing to do, but it is also a social grace that is helpful for our children when in company.

I am pleased to say that for most of our boys, they do possess excellent manners and they display these regularly. I am impressed when boys and young men use eye contact, greet someone, inquire as to their health and wellbeing, and shake hands. Using phrases like “pleased to meet you” and “good morning” are basic and show respect for the other person. They also signal a social interest.

It is disappointing when a student is questioned and they respond with “yep”, “nup”, “I dunno”, or “what?” Using full sentences is always a bonus! In addition, using someone’s name or title of Mr/Ms/Sir/Miss is also respectful.

Once upon a time, students with some financial means went to etiquette lessons, or in some cases, a finishing school! While I am not advocating a return to these perhaps somewhat outdated and quaint practices, it strikes me that we do our children a great service if we teach them how to be socially adept and able to interact with strangers, in a new place, or when entering a new social situation. They can learn these things for free at home, and please be assured, they are reinforced here at Ambrose Treacy College. These things can be learned, and with repetition and practice, like any new skill, build muscle memory.

Insisting on our boys becoming gentlemen is inclusive of social skills training and efforts in presenting with good manners. I am still a fan of holding a door open for a stranger, saying thank you to the bus driver, and standing when a new person enters a room so that they may be greeted at eye level. These small gestures speak to inclusion, respect, and a genuine desire to get to know someone new.

Whatever our children do with their lives, they will encounter new and sometimes awkward social, professional, and student situations. Having a tool bag of introductions, small talk, and good social graces is a life skill and a life advantage. Apart from all of this, it makes nice people nice to know. I know that a man of courage of ATC will be one who demonstrates this by his manners, his mannerisms, his pride in his own appearance, and himself. Manners indeed maketh man. As I have said on assembly many times this year, we are too good not to be better.

Dr Craig Wattam

College Principal